Saturday, October 20, 2012

On A Path To Healing

It has been a while since I came here, that I almost forgot what to do with blogger. I am currently picking myself up from the floor of spiritual emptiness and emotional pain. And I am on a path to "healing", some details I will share below.

Let me start with a story.
The work day was over so I set my laptop to hibernate. The moment I had clicked on that option, I shut the laptop and put it in my laptop bag. My colleague asked why I did that.
"Why didn't you wait for the laptop to hibernate completely before putting it in your bag?" she asked.
This was a long time habit which I had started when I was always "rushing" to meet Mr. Rita at the end of a work day. But from experience, the laptop always hibernated after I had sent the command.
"There was no need to wait," I replied, "once the command has been sent, the laptop has to respond. It has always hibernated."
As I carried my laptop and walked away, I realized that so is the word that comes from the Lord. When He speaks, He does not have to worry about whether or not it will happen as He has spoken. Once He sends it out, it always produces results. It always accomplishes what He wants to do. Not only that, it always prospers everywhere He sends it to.
Yes, whatever it is God has spoken concerning you, rest assured that it will come to pass. His word always produces results and all the time, the results exceeds our expectations. So to anyone who is still holding on to a promise of God, do not grow weary. As He has spoken so shall it be. In Jesus Name, Amen.

On the personal side, I am trying to recover emotionally from two consecutive pregnancy losses. It has been a very painful period (I did not know I would hurt emotionally so much, even after knowing how awesome my God is). Family, writing, work and personal projects were affected in different degrees. I tried to distance myself from God, because I kept asking myself why He allowed me go through such emotional pain. But understanding that God is ever-loving and ever-faithful, I cannot run from Him nor can I give room to think He does not have my best interest at heart. I know, that as always, I will still have testimonies.

So while I am trying to find myself back on the path to spiritual and emotional healing, I just list a few things I am thankful for:-
1. For life:- I know there is still hope, and I still have an opportunity to fulfill my God-given dreams.
2. For Family:- The amazing love and support of Mr. Rita all through this, and the sensitivity of my 19 month old princess, have been sources of strenght for me. 
3. For Family (again): - My mom and my sisters have been very encouraging. My mom has not failed to share encouraging words with me on a weekly basis.
4. For friends:- I have amazing prayer partners, and amazing friends who make it feel as though I am sharing the "burden" with so many people that I have nothing to carry.
5. For favor and grace:- I have seen grace and favor in different areas of my life. These are gentle reminders that God is still there even if I was still wondering. I cannot list all of these instances.

Wishing you a blessed weekend. Thanks to all of you who checked up on me. God remains faithful.